top5 revised

and honourable mention:

joke of the day

didja hear the one about the lactose intolerant guy?

dogmatic statement of the day

i'm so witty. so very, very witty.

question of the day

what is the proper pronunciation of quixotic?

horribly funny one-liner of the day

so, when you bring cups inside for refills, you're supposed to leave the lids & straws outside, to avoid cross-contamination, kay?

yeaterday, someone didn't do that. i said, "why are all those straws in here, spreading germs all over my store?" then, as i saw the customers for whom she was refilling the cups, i added, "& they're black, too!"

to which my (african-american) employee retorted, "black people ain't no dirtier than white people."

i replied, "that's true. you know, they say black people's mouths are cleaner than humans."

i know it wrong, but i'm fighting laughter right now. seriously, there are tears in my eyes. not that i'm in any way prejudiced or racist. farther from it than you can imagine. i once kicked a good friend out of my apartment for insisting on calling someone a "chink."

but it did seem a little meaner than i wanted to be, so i apologized before she had a chance to yell @ me. then i found a dime on the floor, & magnanimously offered it to her, for reparations.

i'm sorry, guys. really, i am. but i'm still laughing on the inside. not b/c i'm racist; i'm just mean, i guess.

quote of the day

sometimes you kick;

sometimes you get kicked.

mis-applied word disection of the day

presume
makes a pre of su and me.

blunder of the day

don't you hate it, when you have to try 3 or 4 times to get an email to send? what's even worse is when, on the 4th try, you finally get it to go through, only to find that the 3rd attempt was successful, as well. oops. how embarassing.

top 5 dilemna

so, i was planning to download a picture of each of my top 5 celeberities. next to the likes of catherine zeta-jones, penelope cruz, salma hayek & the 2nd oldest sister on "related," (kiele sanchez), gilmore mom looks downright plain. but she's so witty, & quirky! i don't know, though. i'm sure i could come up w/ someone hotter, but doesn't she deserve a spot for how cool she is? maybe honourable mention?